hi im C!! im an artist/writer/cosplayer and i am perpetually angry. fan of: harry potter, inception, various tv shows, hikaru no go (it deeply affected my soul), tom hardy, art, good animals, and lots of other things!
I am genderqueer and i talk about gender stuff frequently. i am most comfortable being referred to by neutral pronouns. (they/them/theirs)
this blog is actually about shipping though. (otps)
you know when you feel like shit and you want people to notice and maybe worry a little bit or try to help because you dont feel like you can ask for it, and they don’t, they just keep talking and laughing and having fun and having LIVES and it’s fine, you think, that’s what they’re supposed to do, only you resent them a little for it because you’re not fine and you can’t do that and sometimes it would be really really nice if someone paid attention to you. that’s what you think when you go hide to cry, when you can’t deal with life and you curl up into a tiny ball of vantas and excessively put your own hands on your head and face and neck, trying to do something, you’re not sure what. maybe comfort yourself—and wow, that’s a laugh.
and the thing is that eventually you will have to go back. you will have to pretend you weren’t waiting for someone to come stop having fun with you for a minute and touch your head and your face and your neck and comfort you and make uneasy attempts at making you laugh, a dry kiss on the crown of your head. you’re going to have to accept that the voices in your head are telling the truth, that no one even noticed you were gone, and you’re going to have to go back and after crying quietly youre going to have to go and fight yourself, fight your own mind, to not be resentful at your friends. you dont hold it against them, you don’t want to, you can’t afford to. they didnt do anything to deserve a friend like you.